Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Rash - Huband - Ugly - Trigger

RASH
My son has had a significant rash/eczema/infection stuff going on since July.  It is ont he back of his leg just under his butt.

The current antibiotic is to be a maintence medication for 2 months.

He's been on it 2 weeks.  Just like the last 3 rounds of medication after he ends them (or in this case after day 10) which is the same in both cases.  The rash gets better, goes away...and then comes back w/a vengence.  And I mean...VENGENCE!!

When I took him to the dermatologist 2 weeks ago she suggested the maintance medication OR a biopsy. I opted to do the 'least invasive' and try medication first.

It's not working.

HUSBAND
My husband does not work.  Not by choice. I'm sure he would love to work. However, because of an injury and medical issues he is a stay at home dad.  His job is to tend to our children and their needs.  I know it is hard work.  My children are healthy for the most part.  They don't require many dr. appts.  When my husband needs to be seen he makes an appt. He doesn't wait till its horrible or bad. This rash issue....he's been very lax about making and taking the boy to the dr.  I've done most of it.

UGLY
It is about to get ugly.
The rash is already ugly.  I'm talking 'marriage' ugly.  As in this momma is gonna come unglued in a rather unhealthy  manner.  I made it very clear last night to my dh that HE WILL get this boy an appt and I don't give a rats ass when it is.  He said "Well I have a therapy appt tmw and I will just cancel that if I have to".  That didn't go over so well.  I got ugly....I made it very clear that I am PISSED that I have to take off work to take this kid to the dr. when he coudl CLEARLY have called on MONDAY and made him an appt.  He has SEVERAL days a week where he could DO IT and he has choosen not to.  I then googled "Auto Immune Disorders" and pictures which look just like what our son has.  I let him know that "this is" what Dr. E said we could be dealing with if this round of antibiotics didn't work.  I made it very clear that HE makes appts for himself.  And that I would be taking him to the dr. tmw. I"m tired of this kid suffering.  He is in pain and damn it.

It was ugly.  I'm already depressed. I'm already tired.  I am an ugly person to deal with right now.

So help me God if he does not call the clinic first thing in the morning and make that kid an appt I'm gonna take that baseball that is hanging in my garage that I threatened him (dh) with last week and shove it down his throat. 

I said it was gonna get ugly.  Momma is pissed.

TRIGGERED
Momma is set off...triggered...whatever the heck u wanna call it.
I had a parent who often 'poo-poo'd my health issues.  Who would put things off till I was extremely ill and ended up being hospitalized.  This happened not once, not twice...but three times between the ages of 12-16.  I also had a parent who told me that I was over reacting most every single time.  I know that my dh hasn't said that to my son.  But I see that my dh ignoring this issue as a way of dismissing it and basically saying it isn't a big deal.  DH often (as in currently) does the same thing to me.  He recently told me when HE asked me questions about the suicidal thoughts/ideation that I was struggling with that "well that is just plain retarded".  And this my friends is why I rarely ever mention to him that I'm struggling.  I don't believe in the it's a man thing bc it is plain, cut, simple and dry...uncalled for.

Pray for my son...that my husband makes the call first thing in the morning to get him in to be seen.  I will be working split shift and can't call until 8:30-9 and then not again until 11am.

1 comment:

DMM said...

Yikers, Mama! I will pray for you tonight, and for your Little Man, and that your Big Man makes the right choice. It is uncalled for....on a lighter note: I always thought it was funny that they call them "triggers", for me it just makes me think of the fact that "Yes, if I had a gun right now...I would totally pull the trigger!"