Stairs and Family

Interesting thought I need to get out there in writing.  I want to be able t clear back read, see the date, and go from there.

When this last round of deep depression came barging in I also started with some significant shoulder, neck and back issues.  Some was related to the meds I was on.  Some (most) my job.  I saw my chiropractor nearly daily the first two weeks I was home.  The last 2 weeks not so much.  Just a few times.

Little less than 2 weeks ago I was at my work for our quarterly pick for our work hours.  I went up and down the stairs several times.  Instantly, my right hip and pelvis became locked.  Walking became painful.  Sleeping that night was horrid.  The following morning I saw my chiropractor.   My pelvis was rotated /tilted significantly.   He spent 25-30 minutes attempting to get it to adjust back and deep tissue massage.

Earlier in the week I climbed on my elliptical for the first time in several weeks...couple of months.  Ten minutes and my right side was locking up.  Saw my Dr the next day same thing.

Friday I spent several hours gong up and down our stairs doing laundry, going down stairs for many things.  And same rung happened.  I had an appt yesterdsycw/my Dr and he commented again how tilted and rotated it was.

Today I have felt physically great.  Emotionally I won't go there.  While at a family function I was asked to do family pics for everyone.  Two hours straight and I did okay.  Then I had to move up stairs to use a different background and use the stairs bc I'm short and my family is tall.  Regardless, 3-4 times up/down stairs and I can barely walk.  Not only does my hip hurt and everystep it locks but my pelvis aches.  If I didn't know better I would think I was pregnant..its the same aching feeling I had when I was pregnant.

Obviously the stairs are the culprit.  It has been a very long time since I have had this type of issue w/my pelvis and hip.

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One of my aunts is aware of my recent struggles and the outcome.  She sought me out today when I disappeared during our family Thanksgiving.  I needed a "break"!!  She could see it in my eyes that I was struggling.  Love her to pieces.  Love that she gets it.  She doesn't judge me.  She doesn't tell me to suck it up.  She knows that there is nothing she can do to fix me.  She is able to just he herself and let me know she cares.  I had snapped at one of her kids and she knew I felt bad.  She wanted to make sure I knew she didn't care and understood.

Somehow it would be awesome if the psych nurse mother of mine....could be a lil more like her baby sister!

I have a family member who isn't 'all there's.  She is my cousin.  She recently had her baby die in her 28-29th week of pregnancy.  I feel horrible for her.  Yet, it makes me sooo mad bc she doesn't take care of herself or pregnancy in a health manner.  I wanted more than 2 children.  My body couldn't take any more than 2.  With the pregnancy and severe post partum issues.  If doesn't make t any easier knowing shes a dumbshit that doesn't need ro he having any more children.  She talker all about 'when she was gong to get pregnant again'.  Barf