My 1st Blog Award

I can't remember the last time I saw a blog award on someones blog.  On this particular blog, I've never received an award.  I read earlier in the week that My Group Therapy was nominated for a blog award on her FB page.  And never in a million years did it occur to me she would award turn around and nominate this blog.  I will be honest, earlier in the week when she gave a shout out to my blog on her FB page I freaked a little.

When I started this blog 313 posts ago back on 1/11/11.....it was not in my radar that I would actually share this blog with anyone.  Serious as a heart attack.  It was just a way for me to put in front of me some of the things that swirled around. It was a way for me to see the ups and downs.  To try and embrace the good with the bad and the bad with the good.  It was a way for me to just see me...as I was...by writing it out. 

There are a couple things I'm supposed to do upon the receipt of this award:

1) Thank and link back the awarding blog
2) Answer 7 questions
3) Provide 10 random facts about yourself
4) Award 7 other deserving bloggers
1) What is your favorite song?  I love ADELE and PINK.  These 2 ladies are the 2 that I listen to EVERY SINGLE DAY. Often several times a day.  At this MOMENT...my favorite is this beauty.  I can't sing.  But on Sunday....when I was in the midst of a meltdown and spent nearly 45 minutes in the shower....this song came on the radio in our room/bedroom and as I sobbed...I sang to it. I needed to hear it at that very moment.  We are all Firework's!!




2) What is your favorite dessert?  I love all deserts who are you kidding!!  Favorite...at the moment....my Grandma's CHEESECAKE.  It isn't the traditional cheesecake you will buy in the stores. Nope. It's better.  My grandma passed away a few years ago.  I miss her. I love her cheesecake and I wish she was hear to make it for me.

3) What do you do when you are upset? Vent, drink LOTS of ice cold diet soda, eat shitty food that only makes me feel even more shitty, veg out on the computer, snap at my husband/kids and then feel guilty in return. 

4) What is your favorite pet?  Max.  My 5 yr old Pug.  He is gentle.  He is kind.  He is serene.  He is my friend.  He knows when I'm not doing well.  He allows our 10 month old pain in the ass "other pug" to pound the heck out of him.  He's just a fat gentle giant.
5) Which do you prefer, White or Wheat? White.  Sour dough to be honest.

6) What is your biggest fear? The same as My Group Therapy -- failing. 
7) What is your attitude mostly?   Snarky and sarcastic.  Always!

10 Random Facts:

1) I've never had a drink of wine or any alcoholic beverage in my life.  Ever. Many days I think about it.  Think that today is the day that I fell of the bandwagon.

2) I've never smoked a cigarette, did any drugs, or anything illegal.  I wouldn't know what marijuana looked like if it was in front of my face.  Same thing with cocaine or any other drug.

3)Infertility testing revealed that my body was allergic to sperm.  Causing an antibody to be created to kill sperm.  The very last time I was seen for infertility consult/testing the  specialist confirmed what the 2 previous infertility specialist had told me.  Little did he or I know at that specific appt...I was pregnant for my daughter.

4) Both of my children were born via C-Section. I did not want to labor w/my oldest.  I had labored prematurely for 8 weeks prior to her birth.  I knew she would not be born naturally.  She was born via emergency c-section.  If she would have proceeded to drop into the birth canal she would have been still born.  Today was her last day of 7th grade. 

5) I was very disappointed I was told by my OB w/my 2nd child that I had to have a C-Section.  I spent several weeks trying to talk him into allowing me to attempt a natural birth.  He refused.  I left the hospital after his birth 1 day early and went shopping. I felt 10x's better than when I went in.  I do not regret having a 2nd c-section.

6) Just like My Group Therapy; I have a rather shy/quiet side.  It's hard to believe, I know. 

7) I have an addiction to Diet Cherry Pepsi.

8) I'm having a hell of a time coming up with 10 random facts.

9) I really do hate coming up with random facts.

10) I want to go on a cruise for my 40th bd.  Which is the same year as my 20th wedding anniversary.


7 Other Blogs to Award...serious...I don't know if I can keep it to 7 blogs.  I will try. Very very hard.

Truth is Powerful and it Prevails The stars collide when the two of us are together.  Just over a year ago I was introduced to who this special person in my life today.  NEVER in a million years did I imagine I would find a true BFF by blogging.  EVER.  I had read her blog.  Never commented.  Always thought "wow" she could be my sister.  And we may not be sisters by blood.  But we are definite sisters by friendship.  Her battle with OCD and depression often mimics the same road I've walked.  I'm fortunate to have many Trauma Momma/Soul Sisters in my life.  This particular friendship was orchestrated by a being much higher than I am.

A Depressed Mormon Mommy - love her honesty and her special spirit. She's honest, upbeat and tells it like it is.

Mommy Needs Therapy or a Bottle of Wine - I've been reading this blog for a long time.  Last year when I was in Orlando and realized who this person was I nearly died.  Every.Single.Picture of the two of us from 2011 - we were crying.  Happy tears.  I catapulted my fat ass in the back of that mini-van after our massage/spa treatments so that I could just soak up her love, sweet spirit, and everything about her that is soooo wonderful.  In 2012...I had the privs of being in her villa.  And in 2013.....we will grow that bond even larger.

Adopting Special Needs - Yet, another trauma momma/soul sister.  Only this lady is a true blue Mom in every way there is.  I had never read her blog or even knew who she was before going to Orlando last year.  Sure seen her name in our private FB group.  However, I did not put 2 and 2 together.  I knew from the moment I met her in the mini van on the way to our spa treatments...I would love her.  And I've never looked back.  She's been a great support emotionally.  During the roughest of times (current) w/her darling little spitfire Hope - she always has love and support to offer.  She was my house mom in 2102 and I'm sooo blessed to have her be my house mom (and MY adoptive mom from afar) again in 2013.  I love you GB's Mom!!

Depressed LDS Woman - This young lady is a pilar of strength.  She's walking a tough road right now.  I miss reading her blog posts.

Depression Marathon - I've been reading Etta's blog for a few years.  Maybe not that long but it sure feels like it.  I have been inspired and continue to be by her strength and determination to run her way thru depression.  She fights this battle with her head high even when her head would much rather be down.  One of these days I will put on my sneakers and run to the end of the block and back.  And then some. 

Random Rambling of a SAHM - Bold.  Direct.  Honest.  Grief Stricken. Inspiring.  Are just a few of the things that describe this young lady.  Her determination to let the world know how suicide is ugly.  How it kills your soul.  How being the window of your bff who decided to end his life in front of you....how fucked up that is.  And...yet every day she gets back up again...and again...and again.  Damn it all....I've read some raw posts on days when it was all I could do not to drown my own pain and grief and end it all right there.  I found her blog the day or two before her dh took his life by a random search for something I don't even remember.   Little did I know then this young petite Aussie woman would be a pillar of strength behind a computer/phone screen....1/2 a world away.

UPDATED bc I didn't have the link before but NOW I do...
The Short Bus - Another Trauma Momma/Soul Sister who I related to on so many different levels.  Little did I know last year "who" this sweet and gentle heart was.  And this year, 2012...well i just did not get to spend time w/her.  I promise next year...we will!!  I hope and pray she returns w/the rest of us.

I could go on.  But I won't. It's late. I need to go to bed.