Confessions.....

...of a thumb sucker.

This post called "Confessions of a Thumbsucker" really hit home.

Just like the author of this article...I am in my late 30's and still suck my thumb.
I've also went months on end w/o sucking my thumb.
I also have days where it is something that I can't control and find my thumb in my mouth all.the.dayum.day.long!!

This evening my BIL walked past me and whispered in my ear "__ your thumb is in your mouth".  My youngest was quick to tell him "she does that when she's upset and ** (his wife) really upset her today". 

We've never discussed w/our children why mom sucks her thumb.  We also have never corrected our children for doing the same thing.  My mom did everything in her power to get me to stop.  Obviously, as I hit 40 yrs old...it didn't work. 

As the author of this article states:

You will go on and do the things that you do to keep you feeling safe or alive or relevant or scared or lovable or whatever way you need to feel to keep on keeping on in the world.

And I will continue to suck muy thumb.

Jennifer writes:  It’s like nothing I could ever explain to you, this feeling of safety it gives me. The feeling of relaxation. The feeling of being high.  The feeling of it’s going to be alright.

Again, I couldn't echo that loud enough.  Not to long ago my husband made a comment about this habit.  My response was on the lines of what Jennifer said.  I just had him read this article.  He didn't respond with any sort of emotion.  He knows afte rnearly 20 yrs of marriage that having a conversation with me about this subject will not end well.

He learned long ago in our marriage that saying anything to me about it, specially negative, would only cause more grief on his part. 

It is something I do without even knowing I'm doing it.  It's been months since I have woke up from biting myself.  This week, I've woke every.single.night!!  This evening is no different, I find myself wide awake.  Unable to fall back asleep with teeth marks on my thumb.