Having a hard time picking myself up over the last few days. It's a different kind of low. One filled with anger and grief. Which ends up being filled with just plain depressed.
I find myself all over the map when it comes to thinking about how life turned out. What the future holds for him. What our furture holds with him. I go from thinking about picking up a card and sending it to him, to wanting to change all our phone numbers (he knows my husbands number), to asking my husband to contact his FM and setting up a lunch date with him, and the internal dialogue goes on and on and on...
Why is it so damn tough to know what the right thing to do is?
2 comments:
Maybe because there is no one "right" thing.
Maybe you're like me with my mom... I NEED to keep as much distance from her as possible, but then something happens and I put myself on a guilt trip. She is having hand surgery in a few weeks and you'd think she's got two weeks to live. She does it for attention. I used to get sucked in because I felt like I was being a bad kid for not showing more sympathy. And she has an awesome way of letting you know she isn't happy with the lack of attention she's getting. More quilt trips. I'm learning that I can show sympathy without falling all over her. She's not happy about it. I can tell. And then I start guilt tripping myself again. It's a freaking roller coaster. But, the hills and valleys are getting less steep. Hope that made some sense...
Post a Comment