Patience

The alternative to sitting here and blogging at 3 am...sleep.
That would make to much sense.
On a good note...the dishes are washed, dried and put away.
My laundry is almost done.
And I've cursed SmugMug out 100x's over as I attempted to upload photos to their website.

Did I mention that I can't sleep.

Therapy is tough right now.  I can't seem to put words to the thoughts/emotions/memories that seem to flood in/out.  And that is the tough part.  I tell myself I will...and damn it all I"m gonna untie that knot a little bit more. And the moment I attempt to untie it little by little it gets snagged up again....and again.

I wish I could gather a little more understanding WHY the verbal part of this is so hard.


Tonight...
...I'm getting impatient with this process.  
...and tonight I'm frustrated beyond belief with myself.
...and tonight I'm fighting the urge to get in my car. I don't know where to go.  Because, everyone irks me right now.  I have no where to go.  No one to turn to. 
...and tonight I wish therapy wasn't tough and slow and muddy all in one.
...and tonight I want to be able to sleep.