Left with nowhere to go

I've left my house in an effort not to beat the shit out of someone...

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I've exchanged words with my SIL today via FB and private texting.  I've managed to piss my husband and his entire family off.  I've spent one to many years refraining from telling that bitch to go to hell.  I didn't refrain today.  Nope.  In doing so my husband is pretty much had enough of me.  And has told me I need to drop it.

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In the process of telling my SIL to go to hell,  I sent a very good friend of mine a message that pretty much stated....if she associates with Sil she can choose to be SIL friend and I will not have anything to do with.  She clearly knows the pain and wrath of hell SIL has spewed towards me.  And I'm not putting up with it anymore.

In doing so I hurt my friends feelings.  I know that she did nothing.   I know she is guilty by association and it is probably unfair of me to make her choose.  Quite honestly ..I don't give a shit.

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My daughter felt the need to get lippy with me as I attempted to tell her not to pick something up that was hot.  I guess touching her shoulder was shoving her.  Which is not at all what happened.   One thing led to another.  Her accusing me of pushing and hitting her.  I never fucking touched her. 

I ended up leaving the house. Because if I didn't I would have shoved and hit her ....to prove what it is really like.

She acts like she truly hates me.  I'm sure she does.   She has made it clear she disapproves of my reaction and thoughts abt our oldest child.   I've managed to end up with one kid who hated me...wtf is the difference with another? 

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Everywhere I turn I'm got shit being thrown at me.  I'm so over whatever the lesson that this spurt in life is supposed to be teaching me.

Essentially..I have snapped.  It is things such as this I'm certain my children would be so much better off without me.  They deserve better.