During an appt with H* today some tough stuff came to the surface. Again. In the past I've scheduled massage appointments to be back to back or same day as my therapy appointments with J*. Somehow, I need to go back to that routine. Granted, my appt with H* was a last minute schedule because J* is off for the week.
I've attempted to write the things that were fresh on my mind as I left that appointment. The body-work that jolted me once again...has left me speechless...once again. The space that was created by H* to continue moving forward and finding healing was what I needed.
Even though the work was tough. Even though it has jolted me to my core. Even though my heart hurts in ways that I can't even begin to describe. Even though grief on so many levels is raging it's ugly head. Even though all these things....I still feel desire to keep going back. One more missing piece that I'm not the only person that knows. Somehow, having someone else know it takes the power away from it.
Still doesn't make it easier.
Tonight it makes it much tougher.