Monday, July 23, 2012
Moving Forward....Only Forward
Embracing life for what it is worth. I'm a tad overwhelmed (doesn't take much) as I think about what the weeks ahead will hold. I'm excited and terrified all in one. While I had another massage appt today I knew exactly what I needed and wanted going in. I made sure to let H* know that I did not want to happen. We discussed the possibility of how to deter the easily triggered portion of my massage. This has been an ongoing theme. Being able to discuss it with H* and have the ability to trust she would listen to me is priceless!
My gut twisted a bit as I spoke w/my surgeon this morning regarding my upcoming surgery. The recovery will be tough.
Even more priceless is having someone you trust to have your well-being at heart. I'm confident that I will be in one of the best hands among surgeons in this University town. I am not seeing anyone at the University and WILL NOT be going to the University. I was not just another number today as I spoke w/my surgeon. I was his patient. I was someone whom he cares about. Sure, he will get paid because I am his patient. Unlike, the other surgeon I saw. He sees me for WHO I am. A patient w/an injury.
I will rest much easier when I leave the hospital knowing that my work comp insurance company hasn't tried to screw with me. The Nurse Case Manager has attended all of my appts except last week when I went in for an emergency appointment. She made it clear today that I had surgery approval and it was about time to get this show on the road and start getting better...that I've attempted to do everything in my power to get better and I continue to go backwards. I hope and pray she is right. That her employer will not be asshats and I will be well on my way to recovery..moving forward. ONLY forward.