Month 4

It has been 4 months since I re-injured my shoulder and injured my other shoulders in an accident that was 110% preventable.   It upsets me when I think of how easy this could've been prevented.  Yet, I feel strongly it was an accident waiting to happen...as far as the reinjury is considered.

When I returned to driving 2 hours a day 3 weeks ago, I was optimistic that things wouldn't work out and be okay.  I knew it was not going to be easy.  I also knew that having not drove the 43,000 lb vehicle in 3 months would pose some physical issues.  Again, I was optimistic that with time I would begin to feel better.

That hasn't happened.   Not at all.

Each week by Thursday,  I find myself having more and more pain.  Come Friday, I'm searching for pain medication.  Maxing out the amount of tylonal I can take in 24 hour period. 

By Saturday afternoons,  I'm feeling significantly better.  With little to no issues.  Last weekend I attributed the increased pain and mobility issues to RBS dying and the stress that came with that.

As the week progressed, I have experienced more and more pain.

It is Sunday evening.   I'm in just amount of pain as I was on Friday.

I've done nothing to make the pain be increased.  I've iced it.  I have been mindful of trying to take extra care.  And I'm still struggling with the pain.

I'm afraid of calling the surgeon for fear of what happened with previous surgeon.  I know they are separate surgeons,  with separate views, and that still is keeping me from feeling like it is acceptable to call them.

I want this to be done.  I'm so afraid that as soon as this surgeon decides to schedule surgery that the work Comp company will drop my case.  Because, that is what they do.  Financially,  we can't have that happen and even moreso I don't believe I have the energy to fight them.

My prayer is that when he decides to do surgery he can get me in very quickly.  Making it work that WC won't have time to deny me.  Once I have surgery if I'm denied I can/will go back to my primary clinic.  But if it is denier before surgery is performed I have to start this process all over.  AGAIN. 

I miss driving in some ways.  I miss the passengers that I had on regular basis.

Ultimately,  I want to feel better.