In One Voice Pledge: Kevin Bieksa

Powerful!
Very POWERFUL.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday there was a ray of light. Albeit small...it was there. Today, not so much. As in REALLY not so much.

If the day didn't start off on a bad note. It has went from bad to worse over the last hour since I finally did get out of bed.

I have phone calls to make. Things to do. And I can't seem to do them. I did not wake up (or get up) to go to work this morning. In 3 1/2 years of being employed at this place I"ve never overslept. I've received one late-out and it was because I was in a bad space and unable to pull myself together enough to leave my house. Today was no different.

I spent majority of the night awake. My head spinning in multiple directions. From "I need to do this. To I can't do anything right so why bother. Fear and failure clouded my thinking and when I finally did fall asleep...it was a deep hard crash. As in REALLY HARD crash.

And then ended up sleeping right thru 2 alarms. I needed the sleep. I really did. I also can't afford to miss work. Yet, here I am....w/o work today.

I'm trying hard to find something that can be worthwhile and meaningful this morning. Every corner I turn, I end up falling right back down.

When I rolled out of bed "for good" about 9:30-9:45am, I decided I would finish my taxes. I remembered some receipts that I had not entered initially and believed it would fix the "you owe" portion of our taxes. My computer will not turn on. The lights flash. It stays flashing. Screen blank. Damn!

It just keeps getting better and better....

Not!