Saturday, September 24, 2011


...on my other blog I've taken blogging breaks.

Sometimes, that consists of only a few days.
Sometimes, that can consist of longer periods of time.
Sometimes, I don't even know what it is that I'm thinking/wanting/needing from that particular break.

I'm not positive I believe this quote.  However, I will try to embrace it.  Try and find meaning behind it.

I had a therapy appt this morning that left my head spinning a tad more than usual.  I get that J was thinking out loud and attempting to figure out which direction we need to move fwd in.  However, it left me feeling very unsettled!  I know it wasn't her intent. I know that therapy isn't supposed to be roses and rainbows.  I know it is her job to put these things out there.  In no way did it offend me.  Yet, at the same time she hit a very very raw spot.  One that I'm not even able to put words to.  I wish I could.  Maybe if I could, she could feel like she was helping me....or better yet..I..could help myself.  What I can say is..until I know what I need....I'm not sure J or anyone else can help me.  Today more than ever am feeling very beaten down (again nothing J said...just my own thought process and such) and completely a failure.  Because seriously....who the hell is in therarpy long term as in several years w/o knowing what they want/need?

So for now and the hours/days ahead I will ponder....why I was given this life?  and how it will leave me strong enough to live it.

I may/may not - post a Thankfulness Monday Project.  I've got a few drafts that I've not published bc I've felt particularly vulnerable lately and have left them out in cyber-draft-land.

1 comment:

GB's Mom said...

Do only what you are comfortable with. Cut yourself some slack. I do not know why you were put on this earth, but I am so thankful you are here.