This afternoon I was brought to tears and a near anxiety attack as I drov over this bridge.
As I drove over the bridge my thoughts went from listening to Pink's F*cking Perfect...to thinking "whoa...good thing I don't live near any bridges like this".
And few other things that I will choose not to share at this time. I was more than visable upset. My daughter, snoozing off-on in the front seat asked me what was wrong. I portrayed it as nothing bad sweetheart, I'm just tired of driving and the GPS is taking us a different route...which scares me bc I don't know my way around. She accepted my answer and closed her eyes.
I snapped back into reality and then became angry. Very angry. Angry at myself for allowing these things to creep into my day/weekend. Angry that I had such a wonderful time w/my sweet soul sister and was able to just be...me and for the last 2 days was rather anxiety free (there were moments...but nothing that was not w/in my control).
I'm sure it probably sounds crazy....but every.single.time thoughts like what happened to me on my way home today....take me by surprise. And when I'm in a much better space...it angers me. When I'm not in a very good space -- it is no real surprise and I basically don't give a sh*t.
The next time I take a road trip, such as I did this weekend.....I will be sure that my route to return home will be the same route that I took in the same place! I don't like surprises. No....I DO NOT!! And that bridge...took me by surprise. I seriously, did not expect myself to have the reaction that I did.