this song by Laura Story.
I've posted this link here before. Today, yesterday, this last week....I've often thought about the lyrics to this song. As the tears have flowed freely for so many different reasons.
I'm certain that one of the reasons I've struggled lately is the sleepless nights have taken their toll. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that lack of sleep = lack of coping = lack of coping = struggles.
It is a very fine line I walk when it comes to medication. I have an appt with my shrink this week. I have a rather love hate relationship w/her. She's awesome. She really is. She knows me and that is soooo dang important. However, sometimes that works against me. She knows the struggles I have with medication. I also have issues with what type of medications can I use that will not cause negative effects and interfer with my job. That is a big issues. Often medication that will help you sleep needs to be taken shortly before you go to bed. When a person gets up early to go to work such as I do 4 out of 5 days per work week (my alarm is set for 4am or earlier every day....and I dno't wear make up, curl my hair or do anything but take a wake-up shower) it is suggested that the medication be taken earlier in the evening. IE: with your dinner or around 5-6pm. That again, becomes an issue. Rarely ever am I A: home or B: off work by that time. Which means I can not take a sleeping agent. Often I get off work and have less than 12 hours before I have to return to work. I often do not find out what I have to work the following day until 4-5pm the day before. Because I work on-call my schedule is rarely ever the same. Prime example of not knowing 'what/when' I work. I know that I have to work from 6:20a-10am in the morning. I will not find out until 8:30am what I have to work for the remainder of tmw. I have an idea. But I don't know for sure. It is likely I will have to return around 1-3pm and will have to work until no later than 8pm tmw. I have requested off from 4:30pm to EOS (end of service) tmw bc I have the d.bt group that I'm attending.
Taking medication to sleep is virtually impossible with my job.
I need to take something to help me sleep tonight. I've slept very little the last 10 days. Seriously, less than 3 hours at any given time. I did take something last night. However, I've had this horrendous headache AND lack of sleep is just one of many reasons why I have this headache...yet it prevents me from getting good sleep.
Praying that I will be able to get a decent amount of sleep - sound sleep! No waking up.