Breathing is Good

It's late.  Very very late.  Way past this momma's bedtime.  I'm working late night pm's this week.  I've also picked up 3 overtime short shifts in the mornings.  Yesterday, well actually Wednesday bc it is now technically Friday, I was able to come home and sleep.  And sleep I did. I woke up 2 hours later...drinched in sweat and a bite mark on my hand.  Damn, I hate it when that happens.  :o)

Today, I agreed to extra work early this morning.  On very little sleep from the night before, I was unable to take a nap when I came home from work this morning (Thurs).  I turned down all extra work for this morning (Fri Am). I can't do it.  I need to breathe.  I need to sleep.  Taking extra work again would just be setting myself up to fail.

The last 2 days have been bad days. 
Yes, I worked. And I know that is functional. 
Which is the goal - I guess.  However, it came at a very high cost. 

This morning, I was greeted by the security supervisor for my job.  I had an issue and needed to discuss it with him.  While discussing it with him he brought up a comment that another coworker told him I made.  Geniunely concerned he told me he could give me a referal to our Employment Crisis Intervention team.  A few months ago, after my coworker/friends accident, that took the life of someone...I met with them.  I have no plans on meeting with them again.

Lesson learned.  Don't say stupid crap in front of other coworkers.  No matter how damn tired you are...it is never wise to mention you you have thought about dong something really stupid..  Yeah.....I know from experience....you can't say those things unless you know 100% the people/person isn't gtoing to come back to bite you in the ass in the end.

For now, I'm still breathing.
Sometimes, fast and rapid breathes and others barely able to muster up the strenght to keep on moving.  Regardless,....for today I'm breathing.

And.....Breathing is good.

As I was working this evening I had thought about something I wanted to write out on here.  I actually, wrote/thought the entire blog post in my head.  I've come home from work and taken some meds...not my regular meds..in hopes that they will make me tired enough to sleep and sleep SOUNDLY!!!  And, I'm beginning to feel the effects.