Monday, September 3, 2012


This evening I was subtle reminded why...I get up every single day.  As hard and daunting as things can be and seem at the moment ..there is beauty in everyday.

My children.  Both of them in their infinite wisdom, their quirkiness, their anxieties,  and all around love for the things/people around them.  Give me hope when hope is lost.

As I dozed in the recliner this afternoon I got a text from my 13 yr old...who was in her room.  "Thank you for letting me switch my phone to your old phone.  I will try hard to take care of it.  I'm sorry you still hurt so much"

A little while later my 10 yr old came and plopped a cold diet pepsi down on the stand next to me.  "I was going to get a pop.  I saw yours was almost gone.  So I got you fresh cold one.  And I will finish yours and not waste a new one for myself."  Thank you sweet boy. Mom was asleep...but a fresh cold pop is great.

A short while later my shoulder slips out of place.  Again.  My son hears me in the bathroom as I was attempting to dry myself off.  Without being asked he tells his dad " mom is swearing up a storm in her room...her arm is out again."  My husband comes and puts or back in.  Again.  And the sweet boy comes in with my purse " mom...I can't find your bottle of pills to get you some meds for your pain.  They are not wjere they usually are at.  I know you have some in your purse.  Can I have permission to get in your purse and get you some medicine?"  I tell him no I am not taking any meds.  He asks what time I had them last.  His dad replies "when she woke up".  And the boy sweetly and sternly says.."You WILL take something...nit has been more than 8 hours".  Upset and in pain I ask him to get me a pain patch instead and thank him for his sweetness.

My daughter a short while later comes and shows me her outfit for her first day of 8th grade tmw.  And brings me a cranberry muffin she made earlier in the day.  Telling me she made them bc she new I wanted something soft for my stomach.  I was sleeping when she made them.

Each of these things and many more are small acts of love and kindness on their parts.  Each reminding me what special human beings they are.  Even on the bad days when I wonder where on earth they get their nastiness ...they are human just like me. 

Where much is given..much is received.  Confirmation to me...why I continue to fight this fight. Getting up when every ounce of my fiber says to give up!

1 comment:

schnitzelbank said...

Hi, I'm sorry you're under so much pain. Your shoulder popping out sounds super painful. I have a wonky hip and it's nothing like the caliber of what you're saying, and it still hurts really badly. Have you thought of other non-traditional modalities to help with the pain? I've had good experiences with acupuncture, restorative yoga, and non-force chiropractic. Even a hot tub helps me a bit. You even might want to think about finding a pain clinic. It sounds like your current plan isn't working.
I wanted to say a few things about what a good pain doctor shared with me:
- You have to take your Rx to stay ahead of the pain. Otherwise it turns into a runaway freight train, and it's hard to catch up with.
- The right amount of pain medicine is the amount that gets you OFF the couch, not on the couch (or in bed).
- It's not a problem, unless you're taking it for the wrong reasons. Taking it for your physical pain is not the wrong reasons.
Warm thoughts to you!!