Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Reved Up

My internal system is on fast forward.  It is spinning at 100 mph with no end in sight.

I saw H* again yesterday.  Making it very clear "I did not want to go back down the road we were on Thursday.   She agreed."  Energy and some deep tissue work was our goal.  It was what I needed and felt right.  I left balanced,  very regulated and in a really good place.  Which is where I've been for the most part the last few weeks.  Few exceptions here and there.   But generally pretty ok.

And then.....

I took the effexior about 2 hours before my appt with my psychiatrist.   It was late(r) in the morning.  Lord have Mercy!!!

By the time I got to her office I was in a spot that wasn't good.  It REALLY reved my system up.  And just under 24 hours later...it is still that way.

I'm uncertain if it is anxiety, blood pressure or what it is.  Damn if I've not slept.  I fanfare concentrate to save my soul.  Thoughts spinning 100 mph.

I just told my husband.."I want off the crazy train.  I can't keep this up."  He just looked at me with no response.

I'm tired and weary.  The last 3-4 weeks it has taken every ounce of my energy to stay above aster.  I can't even imagine where I would be emotionally if I was working.  The financial stress is high.  But I'm able to logically look at it from a perspective and hopeful that my shoulders will get better!

I've have had a few comments and have not posted them for privacy reasons.  I do appreciate them.  I will be looking into each of the different suggestiond given.  And know I will not post private comments with your personal info: such as email address in the comment.

Have a great day!!

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