You are the road that I never imagined I would travel. You are the road that I thought for sure that I would certainly be able to overcome. An illness that is dark and deep like a cave on a deserted island. I find myself so very lost.
You have stolen from me time.
You have stolen from me more than my time.
You have stolen from me my family, my zest for life, my love for other people, and so much more.
I have worked in a swimming school. I prepared manuals for lifeguard training. Lifeguards are trained on how to bring a struggling swimmer, child, adult, whomever to safety as they struggle to survive in water. Often times the lifeguard is met with resistant, combative swimmer who is scratching, kicking, screaming, and unable to control their fear.
You are that person, Depression, in the story who is failing, biting, kicking and doing everything in your power to bring me down. It is your job or so you think to make it to the top of the water yourself. Leaving me behind. Often the rescuer becomes the victim.
Damn it. I refuse to let you win. I will not let you bring me down. I will not let you win.
I refuse to let you define who I am. You are scary. You are not welcome. You are not who I am. Come hell or high water...I will beat you and rise above. Trust me. I will.
You Can Leave Now,
Lil Ol' Me