Sunday, August 5, 2012

~Road 2 Recovery~

The road to recovery is going to be long.

I know this road to recovery will not be smooth.  I've been stretched to the limits this last week....literally and figuratively speaking.  Physically and emotionally stretched to the very limits.

Every single day, several times during the day, I consider what would happen if I stopped moving....literally and figuratively.  Immediately post-op I was hell bent that I was going to get back up. I was going to move this arm. I was going to fight to come out on top.  And do everything possible to ensure my range of motion and recovery would move along.

As I mentioned on Friday, the walls are caving in on me.  I've attempted to reduce the amount of pain meds that I've been taking. I know the backlash of being on them for any period of time does.  I've started feeling the effects already.

So I cut back drastically.  And the increase in my mood/foggy thinking was immediately noticeable.  For the better.  However, the increase in pain was also immediately noticeable.  For the worse.

On Friday morning I went to PT/OT for the first time.  The appt went well for the most part and I tolerated it much better than I thought I would.  My appt was originally set for Monday afternoon. However, I have an appt with my H*, my massage therapist and J*, my therapist.  I thought that seeing all 3 ladies back-to-back would be a bit to much.

Full of whirlwind of emotions.  Anything from extreme high and I can do anything to extreme low.

Tonight those lows are pretty low and the pain is pretty intense.  I can't physically go out and about for much time at all.  Yet, need to figure out how to be able to take pain meds, not be triggered into a tizzy bc the meds make me so incredible depressed and irritable.

No clue what tmw brings...

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