Friday, May 31, 2013

~TMS - End of 3rd Week - Life~

Not much to report on the TMS front of life.  It is what it is.  Every day for nearly 90 minutes I treck the 30 miles there and back.  Most days, I go in between my work shifts.  (I work split shifts 90% of the time).

My tolerance level for the damn woodpecker is better.  Still gives me a headache every single day.  However, not as intense.  Amount of tylonel being taken before is less and less.  The MT was raised this week. Overall my tolerance level for being there is getting a little bit better.

The million dollar question I keep getting asked from those around me and those who know I'm doing this is "How do you feel? Can you tell a difference?"  Not noticing much of a difference in the positive realm of life.  I've had a few people tell me they can see a small difference.  I have a hard time believing them.

Life has a way of getting in the way.  Knocking you upside the head, screaming at you to wake up and pay attention.  This week I got that wake up call.  I had an appt scheduled with my hemotologist for Wednesday.  Because my summer work schedule is on-call I never know from week to week what my days off will be and some weeks I don't know what I will be working the next day until that day.  It is crap-tastic at best.  However, it is the best I could do when it came to picking for summer work schedules.  I cancelled my hemo appt so I didn't have to miss work.  I'm trying hard to get to work and not miss.  Tuesday was a rough day.  It was one that just plain and simple was rough.  I went to bed in hopes of sleeping.  Instead, sleep was no where in sight. NOT.EVEN.CLOSE.  Exchanging texts w/a friend turned to emails bc that sometimes is easier on our phones.  One thing led to another and we ended up talking on the phone into the weee hours of the morning.  When we hung up I had about 2 hours before my alarm would go off for work. I knew I wouldn't be able to work. Since my job is safety sensitive...sleep is a nessassary commodity.

After I called in sick to work I began thinking about the appt that I cancelled because I had to work.  Hoping and praying that time slot would still be available...I called the clinic the moment they opened.  I was fortuanate to get in to see the new hemotologist.  So thankful I did. So thankful that I choose her.  My last dr. is ill and had to leave her practice.  And sometimes there are blessings among tragic circumstances.  This would be one of them.

We discussed some pretty heavy things.  Things that I know.  Things that I don't like to hear.  Things like "you will probably need IV/PICC infusions every 12-18 months for 6-9 week intervals for the rest of your life."

I am scheduled to have a PICC placed on June 14th.  My last experience was rather negative.  The thought of having to relive that horror again is enough to make me sick.  Yet, I know it needs to be done.  This morning , I got up and called the clinic and spoke to one of the treatment nurses.  Letting her know that having it done sooner than later is probably for the best.  Waiting 2 weeks will only increase my anxiety over the entire situation.  I'm still waiting to hear if they can get me in today or next Tuesday.  Given that it is late morning today, my guess is it will not be scheduled till next week.

The good news is the iron levels were not as low as they have been in the past.  The TIBC direct panel is raised and shows that it is likely I've been deficiant for awhile.  Which I've known.  Hoping things will turn around quickly!

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