Thursday, May 2, 2013

Fueled by Fear

After a few months of uncertainty, I will begin a new form of treatment for treatment resistant depression.  It isn't something that is well known.  I will blog more in next few days.  If you follow my FB page you may be aware of what type of treatment. 

I will do this treatment! I will not back down.  I will be OK.  Regardless of how incredible scared I am.

That being said....

I am incredible terrified.
Filled with fear.
Fueled with fear.
Unable to really talk abt any of the fears associated with it. 

I had 4 separate doctor appts today.  Yearly physical with my PCP whom I've not seen in a year. That brought with it a bag full of triggers.

Chiropractor for my back that crapped out on me this week and had me flat on my back 50% of the last few days.
Occupational therapy for my shoulder. 
Last but not least a psych appt....and it didn't go very well.  I lost my shit. I was ugly.

I came home and received phone call to set up treatment. Starting Monday.  And it has pretty much left me speechless...paralyzed in fear...unable to think rational on any matter. 


My Daily Jenn-ism said...

Prayers for you <3

Coffee Lady said...

that's what I have - my depression never leaves and I have had it since the early 90's. Nothing seems to help. I will anxiously look forward to your posts on this subject. Hugs