There was a point before I was diagnosed with depression that I never ever thought about my thoughts or mind. Then again, who does? What somewhat normal person thinks about what they think? Goes into a semi panic attack that his/her thoughts were not appropriate, they are going to lead to an anxiety attack, or in some cases (mine specifically) suicidal ideations become a rather every day part of life? Really, I never imagined before that this would be an issue.
A combination of meds and therapy have brought me to where I am today. I do not really believe the meds do much. I've improved a great deal in the last several years. However, I don't believe it has anything to do with the meds. I do believe it has much to do with an awesome therapist who has my back. Who believes in me. Who isn't just there to listen.
Often, life has continued on around me, while I am walking in my own little world. Trying desperately to hold on to that before that I have in my head. It is something that my therapist has on several occasions wanted to know about. Who were you before this all came about?
I really don't know...anymore.
I've lost that person I was B.E.F.O.R.E.
I want her back.