Get back up....

The last 24 hour have been rough.  Rather brutal to be exact.  Father's Day has never really been a trigger for me.  It seemed to be this year.  It wasn't took a friend asked me abt it that I was able to look a little closer and see a tad clearer that maybe that was part of the problem.

My inner critic and self doubt is raging higher than ever.  And has already begun to  wreak havoc.  I know I shouldn't give in and I know that sabotage isn't the answer. Yet, when faced with fear and anxiety of the replayed tapes....I gave in.  And here I did!

The next step is to call and find out if I have to work today bc I'm on call.  Go to TMS and a therapy appt tonight.  Both of which I wish I wasn't going to.  Staying in bed seems to be the better alternative.

I know I need to get up.
Damnit I will.
No one said I have to like it.
Just freeking need to do it